Caucusing - as undemocratic as pure democracy can be

I caucused. Not only is it disturbing to say, but it's actually kind of gross to read that word in its various tenses as well. Caucused.

I went to support my man Ron (see previous meandering post) in the Washington Republican Caucus. All you do is show up, find your "precinct", sit around a table with strangers and try to cut through the confusion of the event. You basically are supposed to, as a group, elect each other to go to the county convention in 2 months. Here are some key facts from my experience:

1) I didn't bring my voter registration card, so I had no idea what my precinct was, so I found a guy that lived 2 blocks down from me, thinking (incorrectly) we'd be in the same precinct. I realized I was wrong at the end when I saw my terrorist-fearing neighbor who had donated 2300 to Tom Tancredo stand up and leave from a table across the room. I REALLY wanted to know who he was going for. Gotta be Huckabee. But whatever, I caucused with the wrong precinct, so my vote probably doesn't even technically count.

2) "My" entire precinct consisted of 7 people. We had to "elect" 4 delegates and 4 alternates to go to the county convention in April. Most were actually kind of annoyed at the fact that based on the vote, they might have an errand to run in 8 weeks. An errand for America.

3) The 7 of us were split between the 4 candidates, with 2 going to Huckabee, Ron Paul and Romney, and 1 going to McCain. The 1 was an 18 year old absolutely awkward high schooler who could not stop talking about how no one his age is in to politics. He said that he could not be a delegate because he had no transportation. We made him one anyway. I was trying to pump him up about how cool it would be.

4) They handed out a questionnaire at the door, which my table immediately began working as a group to fill out because it was the only thing that seemed to make sense. It's funny when everyone is confused, they seem to all latch on to anything that makes sense. The whole "electing delegates" thing did not seem to be top priority.

5) Instead of everyone voting for each other to go to the next tier, someone suggested that since there are 4 delegates, and that the seven of us were essentially evenly split, that we should just send one for each candidate. All of us just nodded in agreement, as the math was irrefutable. Konwing that if we actually voted, my candidate wouldn't have a chance at that table, I just made sure the other Ron Paul guy was signed up to go. This is what goes down when the process of voting is coupled with the prospect of face-to-face confrontation. People tend to not want to talk politics with their neighbors when push comes to shove. At one end of the spectrum you have the person-to-person caucus, and at the other you have the person-to-mailbox absentee ballot. I'm pretty sure everyone prefers absentee.

6) Looking back, I'm guessing the caucus system was developed at least partly to avoid exactly this kind of even split. If I would have had my mind about me, I would have started working deals with the Romney and Ron Paul folks, and completely ignored the 3 huckabee/mccain supporters. Active plotical hostility. But, and here's where party democracy really shows its efficiency, I was going to be busy that weekend in April. So Huckabee for President '08.

7) If you're elected to be a delegate at the county, you have to pay $15 ($30 and you get a hot dog, I think.)

8) A lot of Republicans are fat and old.

9) The end of the Caucus is a lot like a bad party that never really got started. You just sort of look around and keep thinking, "Can I just stand up and leave, or do I have to fake a cell phone call or pretend to almost vomit?"

10) No doubt, if I would have caucused Democrat, I think there would have been a lot more rah-rah-rah, which is really what I wanted. If I have to meet my neighbors face-to-face and talk about my vote, I at least want there to be SOMEONE shouting, even if it isn't me.